inside.my.mind

Well I was still feeling pretty bad this morning so I went for a walk at Long Hunter State Park. At first I found a 1/4 of a mile loop. I walked it and thought it was nothing. So I looked around and found a 2 mile loop.

I really enjoyed the 2 mile loop. I really wish I had a camera with me. I saw all kinds of wildlife on this loop. I was about 15 yards away from a couple of deer at one point. It was amazing to be close enough to a wild animal to see their muscles moving. It was also very nice to see in the middle of all the dead stuff brightly colored birds. It was for them that I really wanted my camera. I think it would have been a great picture.

Anyway I got finished with the 2 mile loop and was not ready to go. So I started down a trail that is 4 miles one way. Which means it is 8 miles to go down the trail and back. I did it. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I did it. I am in pain. I don’t know what got in my head to make me think I could go from doing almost nothing to walking 10.25 miles in one day. I am wondering if I will even be able to walk in the morning. It was really nice until the pain started.

Got to love how easy it is be thrown back down on the ground and the knife in my heart given another twist. It is so easy to slip back to this state and I hate it.

Mom came up today to get some stuff. TV, bed, etc. I think that is what started it. I knew it was going to happen, but for it to be happening sucks. Leslie told me my last blog entry was interesting. No idea what that means, and in the state I was already in it really screwed with me. At least she does not have to put of with my crying any more I know she always hated it.

I just spell check this entry and blog came up as a miss spelling. You would think that BLOGger would have blog as a correctly spelled word.

The Art Of Breaking by Thousand Foot Krutch

Every time I call you on the phone
I listen to it ring but no one’s home
I can’t explain the energy that
You give me when I’m left here alone

And every time I pass you on the street
You won’t even turn and look at me
I never would of thought that things could
Go this far but please believe me

I’ll pick you up, won’t let you fall
I’ll build your trust and it won’t hurt at all,
Your only drug will let you down,
I’m through now, so take me and blow me away

When I feel numb I’ll let you know
I won’t become what I was before,
You cannot kill what’s not your creation
This is the Art of Breaking

I think I might just lose my mind
If I have to watch this one more time
I can’t explain how many times I’ve stayed for you when you were on my mind

No one ever said that it was easy
So come out of the cold and stop your bleeding
I never would of thought that things could
Go this fat, but please believe me

Are you gonna run away, and leave me here alone?
Are you gonna run away, and leave me here?

David turned me on to this post and I must say it is wonderful. Very good lessons.