inside.my.mind

I don’t know if everyone is like this or not, but I am bad about reading to much in to something. One little thing can happen after time I will be thinking that this person hates me or is on the way to loving me.

Either way it goes it sucks. If only I could see things as they really are I think life would be a lot easier, but with my current state I am all over the place thinking people feel one way about me and the complete opposite the next.

I leave you now with a song:

Held - Natalie Grant

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Readers meet Sammy:

When we went and picked out the table we won $25 in free stuff. Sammy was $24.95. Be nice or Sammy will chop your head off.

Well I finally sent in the paper work to start my Roth IRA. I don’t know how long I will be able to put money in it, but something is better than nothing right? I am trying to make sure I don’t have to eat dog food when I am old. It is sad that some people have to do that, and others who are perfectly capable of work, but to lazy to do anything.

Ok sorry for that little rant. Way to political for my blog.

Um…I been going to the gym thing we have here. It is another one of those things that I don’t know will last or not. I hope it does. The first time around I had my hair, but now I am fat and bald. I don’t think that will be good for finding someone to love me so I am trying to at least drop the fat part.

Not that I am really ready for anyone else. Boy do I feel sorry for that person when they do come along. No telling how many issues I am going to have with relationships after this, and I had a fear of abandonment before.

Way FM is having a fund raiser thing. If you can give please do.

I know you all are getting tied about hearing about me being upset. In fact I have been doing a little writing the old fashiond way just to save you all from having to read all the crap that is going on in my head.

Lately I have been wanting to call Leslie and yell at her that I hope she is happy because she has screwed up my life. I know that is not really fair. I will never do it either. I just get really frustrated and sad sometimes.

I thought is was a pretty intresting article: How to Become an Early Riser

I can’t believe it. There are TWO movies that I will go to the theater to see this year. X-Men 3 and Superman Returns. That has to be some kind of record. I can’t remember when the last time I was looking forward to seeing more than one movie at the theater in one year.

I am not doing to good with the getting up so very early. I would if I could get to sleep earlier, but I have not been able to do so. I go to bed early, but can’t sleep. So today I was pretty much out of it. I did not get a whole lot done. I am hoping tomorrow will be better.

I am hoping next week will be much better. We are only going to do 9 hour days instead of 10. It should be better, but we will see.

Yeah sorry I am not in a good mood. The lack of sleep is affect my ability to be happy or seem happy or whatever it is I do these days.

1) Meeting at 4 today at work. We were informed that we will be going in two hours early (6 am) this week and next. It would not surprise me at all if we have to say late as well. They better not screw me out of hanging out with Andy and Dusty next weekend.

2) Got the final divorce papers today.

Great day.

This has been a rough week. Glad it is over with.