inside.my.mind

Yes I know Faith posted a blog with a title very close to this. I said it so I decided it would be ok for me to use it as well.

What a beautiful weekend! Saturday morning I went to the Burro’s Greenway and walked around for a couple of hours. The picture you are looking at right now is from that trip. Flickr has a few more from Saturday and some from today as well. Go look and enjoy!

Good weekend. Good things are happening. Oh it seems I am going to be playing softball in a church league. Should be fun and funny.

Look it is Sidda trying to run away from me at church last week. Looking at the picture you might think that I was picking her up. You would be wrong. I was trying to get her to take picture with me, but she just wanted to run and play. It ended up looking pretty good, of her. Faith keeps telling me that it is good of me too, but I just don’t see it. Anyway just thought I would share. I know how my readers want to see more pictures of me. Seems to be the most requested thing on my blog.

We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

I just spent the last hour trying to write a cover letter and I still have nothing.  I don’t know why this is so hard for me.  I don’t guess I have changed as much as I thought I had.  Right now I feel like I have thrown in a raging river and am lucky that I am still breathing.  Everything feels out of my control again.  Is this what I get for thinking I was doing good?

I know all my wonderful people are going to come tell me that I am good and what not, and I am really thankful for you all.  I really am.  I seem to be in the middle of one of those times when I am just a long for the ride.  No matter how much I would like to change the way I am feeling I can’t seem to find a way to make that happen.

Sorry in advance to anyone who has to deal with me tonight.

Originally uploaded by elemak.

I finished the last piece of gum in this pack today at work. I think I might just be a little bit OCD about how I get gum out of the pack. I try to make all the cuts straight and not rip the pack at all.

I think this might just prove that I have a problem. I guess pretty much everyone knew that already.

I am way to full. They took us to Lenny’s today at lunch and I have gotten where if I got out for lunch at work I don’t eat anything at night. I wish I could say that I did that tonight, but I did not. Ate all kinds of chips and then some popcorn. Guess I deserve the hurting tummy for eating when I was not really that hungry. I am bad about that. If I get nervous or something like that and I am hope alone then for whatever reason I seem to start snacking on whatever I can find. I had been doing really good, but I screwed that up tonight.

Originally uploaded by elemak.

How about Sunday? How nice was it outside? I up loaded some more of the the photos I took this past weekend. This batch is from Sunday. I was getting ready to head home after Leah and Mandy dropped me off and decided I could not go home without a quick walk in the park. I only uploaded three so check them out on flickr.

Now to the choices. Where Leah works has a position open. I keep going back and forth on wanting to try for it or not. I don’t know what I want to do. It is Manager of Information Technology Services, which is not at all programing. I can’t decide if I want to leave software development or not. Heck I don’t know that I could be a manager at all. It seems so far from what my personality is suited for. It scares the crap out of me that a lot of this job is telling people what to do, writing policies, communication, and hardware type stuff.

What if I do go for it and don’t like it if I get it? Do I go crawling back to my current job? What if I do like it, but they don’t like me? Have you seen the stock markets lately? Not good stuff going on. Is now really a good time to be making a move? Could I really be a manager? I just don’t know. I am struggling a lot with this.

I want to be able to do it. I want to have grown that much, but I just don’t know if I can do it. The little kids a church run over me how am I going to handle adults? What if I don’t know enough about the stuff they want. This is really hard for me.

Originally uploaded by elemak.

I have had a pretty good weekend. Other than Faith being mostly unreachable it was a great weekend. Friday night I don’t really remember. I don’t like this feeling, I have no idea what I did Friday night.

Saturday I got up and went to Sam’s and Target! I had not been to either store in what seems like forever so that was fun. Got home from that got some food and met Leah downtown. We took some stuff back to Target and got a camera for her Mom, and pretty much wasted time until it was time for Mandy to get off work. It was fun. We got Mandy and since we were in Leah’s car they try not to let me sit in the back seat. I was sneaky and got in the back seat while on one was looking. Leah did not like that at all and was not going to get in the car, but ended up getting in and sitting in the back seat too.

So Mandy drove us to Cool Springs with her in the front and Leah and me in the back. It was funny. When we got to Cool Springs they took me to see the couch they want to get, and ended up getting after we all sat in it again. Very comfy stuff!

Now for the really funny part. I am going to be in Leah and Mandy’s ceremony so I am sure some of you know. They decided that we were going to rent instead of buy so we got to After Hours. The guy helping us needed to know who the bride and groom were. I ended up being the groom and Mandy’s name was down as the bride, but the guy though Leah was Mandy. The poor boy was so confused. It was great! Just to make things clear this was not a fitting for my wedding.

On the way to Leah and Mandy’s house we decided to stop and get something to drink. I am pretty sure I have mentioned the fact that I don’t drink caffeine any more. Well I get a Sun Drop. Looks like a drink with no caffeine to me. About half way home Leah ask if I am done with my drink yet. At that point I was only about half way done with it. She tricks me into downing the rest of it all because she can’t wait to tell me that I just drank a 20 oz caffeine charged drink. I could not believe she let me do that! It ended up not being as bad as I thought it might be. I just sat in the recliner rocking back and forth talking about peanut butter jelly time.

Well this past weekend my cactus went limp. It used to be really hard and green. Over the last week of its life it started turning a brownish green color. This weekend when it got watered it just went limp. It is kind of sad. I have had that cactus since the summer. I have no idea what in the world happen to it. I have done nothing different.

I am very happy. I just thought everyone would like to know. Thank you so very much my Faith.

I got new shoes a couple of weeks ago.  I think they look cool and want to wear them, but I don’t have any idea what I can wear them with other than the stuff I was going to wear to the party thing.  Someone need to tell me what I can wear them with.  I need lots of help in the what to wear area.

Now a song:

Well you done done me and you bet i felt it
I tried to be
chill but you’re so hot that i melted
I fell right
through the cracks
And i’m trying to get
back
Before the cool done run out
I’ll be giving it
my bestest
Nothin’s going to stop me but devine
intervention
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn
some

I won’t hesitate no more
No more it
cannot wait, i’m yours

Well open up your mind and
see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re
free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love
love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with
me
Ah la peaceful melody
Its your godforsaken right to
be loved love loved love love

So i won’t hesitate
no more
No more it cannot wait i’m sure
Theres no
need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate,
i’m yours

I been spending way too long checking my
tongue in the mirror
And bendin over backwards just to try
to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass
So i
drew a new face and laughed
I guess what i’m sayin is
there ain’t no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity
and just go with the seasons
Its what we aim to do
Our
name is our virtue

I won’t hesitate no more
No
more it cannot wait i’m sure
Theres no need to
complicate
Our time is short
It cannot wait, i’m
yours

I’m Yours by Jason Mraz

Originally uploaded by elemak.

I got flowers for my Faith and thought I would post a few photos of them. So here is one and two more on flickr. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

I just noticed something, but I seem to post photos in threes a lot. Is that strange?