inside.my.mind

Yesterday I went to Cool Spring to go to Sam’s and a couple of places in the mall.  I thought since I was in the area I might as well test drive an Altima.  I knew I was not getting one anytime soon, but I still wanted to see if I liked the way they drive.  I drove to the Nissan dealership and a young guy comes out and asks if I have been help and all that jazz.  I was said no and pointed out the one I wanted to test drive.  During this whole time he is telling me that he thinks we have met before.  I thought I had seen him somewhere before as well.

I am pulling out of the parking lot and Faith calls me back and I told her I would call her right back that I was test driving at car.  I think that was about 12:30.  So we go out driving and I get on 65 north.  I was going to turn around at the next exit up and go back to the dealership, but the guy tell me no to go on up one more exit that he is hungry.  We end up not getting back until almost 2:30.  I spent pretty much two hours with this guy just talking about everything.  We talked about our girlfriends, past crap we have been though, God, and just about everything else.  It was crazy.  I don’t do things like that.  I am not the type of person that can do that, but it happen it was kind of cool and also kind of freaked me out.  Ends up this was the guy that gave me and Mandy a free copy of a picture at Walgreen’s a few weeks before.

After that I did not go do any of the other things I was going to do.  I when straight back to the apartment and did not leave for the rest of the day.

Oh and as for the Altima it drove great.  Very very nice and will more than likely be the car I get when the time finally comes that I can get one.

Anyone that knows me knows that I don’t get mad at people.  People hurt me, not make me mad.  That is just the way it is.  So yeah I can count the number of times I have been really mad, just mad with no hurt mixed in, at a person in the last fifteen years.  The strange thing is both times I have almost instantly been able to continue interacting with said people.

The first time was back when I worked at the Stove in Cookeville.  I am sure if you ever read my modBlog you know about it already.  Anyway I was on one side of a machine that sometimes got stopped up and had to reach my arm up inside of it to make it work again.  Well one of the times I was doing this the guy running the thing thought I was taking to long and turned the thing back on while my hand was inside.  I did not get hurt, but I got so mad that he would do something like that.  I yelled at this guy.  I mean really yelled, not the pitiful excuse for yelling that I normally do.  I think that is the maddest I have ever been in my life.  The guy that worked next to me did not talk to me for the rest of the day cause I scared him.  The next day I tell the guy good morning and go on like nothing ever happen.

Today I was in the bosses cube and we were looking at something that could be a problem.  He decided that it was this one thing.  I started to suggest that he look at something else to make sure and he cut me off in a harsh tone.  It made me mad.  I have gotten better at handling being mad cause this time I did not yell.  I just stood there looking pretty calm.  I waited about five minutes before I was finally calm enough to tell him what I tried to before.  Turns out that we did not need to do what he thought we did and that was in part thanks to the thing that I had pointed out.

So that is my two times at being truly mad at people in the last fifteen years.  I guess normally I get hurt more than anything when something happens to me.  I am glad I am not at all an angry person and can go thought life without being pissed off at everyone.  I guess the downside is I pretty much always blame things on myself.

OH!  I have a new poll up!  Everyone should go vote.  This one is hard for me because I can’t vote on it without giving away the correct answer.  I will give the answer after awhile, unless of course I don’t have enough votes, in that case I will just tell the person who has voted.

This is a pretty long post.  Kind of crazy.  Did anyone make it to the end?

Why is it that my Grandparents can drive to Kentucky, but have never been to my apartment?

Why is it what my Dad can drive almost all the way Atlanta to help people move, but has not been to my apartment since the day I was moving in?

Why is it that he will go to their house on Christmas, but never would for me?

Why is it that I have such problems expressing myself in person, but can put almost anything out here for the world to read?

Why is it so easy for people to give up relationships with me?

Why is it that I feel like a three year old asking so many why is it questions?

Why is it that I time goes by so slowly when I am waiting on a cretin day to get here?

Why is it that I have so many questions with no answers?

Why is it that people who are mean to children get to have them?

Why is it that I am in a strange mood right now?

Why is it that I can listen to the same CD for months and never get tired of it?

Why is it that I can hear that one voice and everything is better?

Ok that is enough questions.  Sorry for so many negative one, but I did throw some good ones in the mix too.  Oh wait one more.

Why is it that I feel the need to say sorry for everything that goes wrong even if it is not my fault and there is nothing that I could have done?

The person who comes up with the best answers to the most questions I will take out to eat or something.  If no one answer anything then I guess I will take myself out to iHop.

Good news, no more cops have been by.  Oh and just so you all know I am very disappointed by the lack of response I got to the cop thing.  Maybe it was my fault, maybe I did not leave it open enough for comment.

Light night was talking to Faith and she had to go drive Coco to see her Mom, so I decided that I would lay down for a little while. I believe it was about 9 when I laid down. Faith called back at 10:30ish and we talked until her phone died about 11 I am guessing. So I was laying in bed waiting for her to get home so she could call back and I hear someone knocking. I was very confused, you have to understand that it is not rare for no one to come visit me for two or three months at a time, and no one ever at 11:30 at night.

I go to the door and look through the looking glass. I see no one. I look again and can almost see someone standing to the right of the door. I open the door and a cop is standing there. Seems someone called in a noise complaint. Other than talking on the phone all my TV, music, etc. had been off since 9. It was a very strange experience. That would have to be the first time I have ever had the cops called on me. I don’t know if they were confused and had the wrong apartment or what, but I had been making no noise. The cop could tell I had been in bed and ask. I told him yes that I had been in bed or on the phone since 9. He was real nice and said ok and reminded me that it was quite hours time and left. Very strange I tell you.

Song:

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that’s how it’s got to be
It’s coming down to nothing more than apathy
I’d rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I’m in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She’s on your mind
She’s on your mind

Let’s rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that’s disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I’m in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She’s on your mind
She’s on your mind

Everyone knows I’m in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She’s on your mind
She’s on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I’m becoming the part that don’t last
I’m losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won’t let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I’m in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She’s on your mind
She’s on your mind

Everyone knows
She’s on your mind
Everyone knows I’m in over my head
I’m in over my head
I’m in over…

Everyone knows I’m in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She’s on your mind
She’s on your mind

Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray

Easter Chicken on Vimeo

What Leah and Mandy got me for Easter. I have had it for about a month, but wanted to wait until today to post it.

This is from this weekend. We were all at Leah and Mandy’s with the Wii and Sidda decided she wanted to play. We were playing bowling, but she did not really know how it works, so I had to help her. She did not want any help so I had to try and be a bit tricky about how I did it. Anyway it was really cute and I think I got my highest score ever when I was helping Sidda. She got more strikes that I ever have. It was fun.

The only bad thing is I am now sick. This will be my second day of work missed. I should be able to go back to work tomorrow. I hate being sick, but at least this time I went to the doctor right away instead of waiting around for two weeks like I did last time I was sick. So I have been laying around watching Joan. Good show it has been a while. I am getting tired of just laying around, but not much else I can do. My head is not killing me every time I stand up, so I am thinking tomorrow I will be back at work, as much as I don’t want to go back. At least in May I will finally get to do what I have been wanting to do. Have a song:

I heard you say you would love for a lifetime
Now you complain a lifetime just doesn’t feel right for you
Another casualty of casual love
Another soul out of place, a heart that gave up

Why do we break the promises we make?
Are we living for ourselves?

Don’t give up on love and throw it all away
Don’t give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain
Don’t give up on love and throw it all away

I heard you say you can’t change a stubborn heart
I can relate ’cause that’s how I feel when I talk with you

Why should it take losing everything
to realize it might be time to change?

Your restless heart won’t win ’cause you take but you don’t give
And you’ll keep moving on until you learn what love is

Don’t give up on love and throw it all away
Don’t give up on love and let it fall away
Don’t give up on love

Don’t Give Up by Sanctus Real