inside.my.mind

Remember me talking about it looking like someone was going to be promoted to team lead? Well it happen today. They were nice and ask me if I would be ok with it, like it matter at that point since they had already done it, but at least they did not totally over look me.

I am happen for the person that got promoted. They do good work. At the same time it proves that I was not made to be a manager type. Just like I was not made to be good with people in general, esp one I have just met. I don’t know I guess I am a little bit bitter. I am always going to be on the same level that I am now. Technically I am pretty strong, but I lack everything else that would let me move forward and that really does bother me. As anyone who knows me would be able to tell you I would just get ran over anyway so I guess at least this way I don’t have to fail.

I was really bad this weekend. I have come to accept the fact that on the weekends I am going to end up eating out more than I do during the week. This weekend was really bad. I guess it is because I had Friday off and family was in town for Sis’ graduation. We will go with that.

It still does not change the fact that I was bad this weekend. I am not looking forward to weighing in the morning to see what the damage is. In general I have not been doing as good as I have been the past few months, but I have been pretty much maintaining my weight, which is fine with me at this point. I would not mind losing another 10 or 15 pounds, but right now I am at a better place with my weight than I have been in a really long time, so if I can just keep that I will be happy. So the point being I need to be careful of I will be back to where I was.

Sometimes it feels like time is running out way to fast. Feels like everything I really want is going to forever be out of my grasp. Seems like everyone is moving forward in life and I am left stuck in the same place I have been for what is turning into years.

Has it been storming any where else? This is the second day in a row that it has stormed pretty bad here. Yesterday on my way home I was going 20 on the interstate because it was raining and hailing so hard no one could see.

One thing that was nice about having a ten year old truck was I would not have cared that I was driving home in a hail storm. Oh well what is going to happen will.

Do you all know Jones? If not you should go down to your local store and buy one. I can recommend the root beer. They have lots of other flavors, but I like the root beer so much that I never manage to try anything else.

We are up to 6 VB.NET developers at work. I don’t know if I mentioned it or not but there was a team split. It is good and bad. Seems that it is leaning for one person to be the head of the team I am on. Not quite sure how I feel about that. Nothing against that person just wish that if that is how it is going to be that someone would have the guts to tell me.

Sis graduates Friday night. Go her!

I got done with Harry Potter tonight. I finished a lot faster than I thought I would. It is really good you all should read it if you read. You do read don’t you?

Finally got the tag for my car! It was very strange to not have one. I feel better having a real tag. Don’t ask me why just the way I feel.

The picture is the result of me playing (not really knowing what I am doing) with the settings on my camera and then sitting it on a rock with the timer set. Needs work I know, but it was fun to play for a bit and forget everything else, even if it was only for a few minutes. At some point I need to get a tripod so I don’t have to set the camera on the ground where all the dirty little bugs try to get on it.

If you don’t hear from me for awhile don’t get worried. Got new Harry Potter book today. Should be done in a few days.

I got board with the old theme of the blog, so welcome to the new one. I like it so far. I will give it at least a day or two and see how it sits with me. Feedback is welcome as always.

Is it strange that sometimes I title blogs with whatever song I am currently listening to happens to be saying?

How about today? Was it ever a day. I had to get so much in about half the time I had to do it in, so I ended up not leaving work until really close to 7. The good thing being that the day was over before I knew it. I am hoping things are going to slow down a bit. That maybe wishful thinking. Seems I am a bottleneck at this point. I have been working on a new app that I pretty much finished tonight. I got tomorrow to finish something I started last week. Then on to another new app. After that I finally get to work on the project that I am the bottleneck on. I got a really long neck if you ask me.

I give you another picture. This is Lorelai. I am sure you all have met before. If not now you have. She is Leah and Mandy’s. She likes it out on the lake when we are not going very fast.

I had a dream last night! What a dream it was, been a long time since I had a dream that vivid. Nothing very interesting, but when I woke up I could remember everything like it had really happen. I love that, when it is not a scary dream.

Lets see…what other random stuff can I talk about. Oh! I have been alpha testing Trillian. Like it so far, but it is far from done. I can’t wait to see how it progresses.

I am so glad last week is over, but wish the weekend was not. After work Friday I came home, packed, and left for the house boat. Mandy and Leah where there when I got there. We got on the boat and headed out on the lake. I love being out on the water when the sun is going down. It is so very beautiful. I love it but I always feel out of place during times like that. I know I am not in the way and no one would change anything, but I can’t help but feel like I am in the way during a great moment.

Saturday Leah’s parent came to the boat and I learned some stuff about the house boat and caught up with her parents. They are great people and I really enjoy getting to see them.

A little later in the day some more people came out and we went out on there boat with them, well I was on the jet ski most of the time, but you get the point. All the times I have ridden the jet ski I have never gotten very wet if you don’t count yesterday. I hit a wave just the right (read wrong) way and the front ended up going into a wave instead of over and I ended up being wet all over. I really need to work on my reaction time between water hitting my face and when I stop inhaling.

Today was church. Church was good. It used to be that I just followed Leah and Mandy around like a lost dog, but I have now gotten where I have a few other people that I don’t have a problem talking with. It is so hard for me to get to the point of just talking to people without freaking out and it is so nice to have the number of people I can do that with increase. Not that I am any where close to the comfort level I have with Leah and Mandy. I don’t know that I have ever felt the level of comfort that I have with them.

Here is an example. Saturday morning when I got up I when and sat on the top of the house boat and was writing. I stopped when everyone else got up. When it was time to leave Leah rode back to Nashville with me. Near the end of the driver we some how ended up talking pretty much exactly what I had been writing about that morning. This was/is stuff that weighs very heavily on my mind/heart, stuff that I pretty much don’t talk about, mostly because I am scared to let it out. I still don’t know how we managed to get on the topics but it was good to have someone else kind of see what I am thinking and not think I am stupid or a baby.

I can’t wait for this week to be over. This has been one of the longest weeks I have had in a really long time. One good thing that has come out of this week is that I am now mostly working on my new computer at work. It had been sitting in my cube for a good two weeks. Not totally on it, but I am hoping before to much longer I will never have to turn back to my old machine.

I am really looking forward to this weekend. I don’t even know for sure what we are doing, but I can’t wait to hang out with Leah and Mandy. It is so nice being around people you know love you and don’t have to worry about screwing anything up. We may go watch the new Harry Potter movie and/or go to the lake. No telling I am just going to be glad to be with them.

I still don’t have the tag for my car. The drive out tag runs out Wednesday so I am thinking I am going to have to call them. I also have not received my first payment, which should be due with in the next couple of weeks. I don’t know how long all that should take. Anyone have any idea? I am starting to get nervous about it.

I really want to take some pictures, but have not really had the chance the last couple of weeks. I am hoping I can snap at least a couple this weekend. We will see.

I have a question for my musically minded readers out there. I need something to listen to music on my computer with. I don’t care for iTunes, Window Media Player, or Winamp (used to really like this one but just not the same since the AOL take over). Does anyone have any suggestions for a good player?