inside.my.mind

I just can’t seem to win at work anymore. I gave an estimate and then proceeded to work all day on the task I estimated, but did not think anything else about the estimate, which was for 4 hours. I am still not finished, I suck at estimates. So I went and check my work email and I got one from the head man, and not a happy one.

Why can’t I keep it together? Why can’t someone or something come along and put everything back together for me? Why do I always try my best and fall short?

Ok I will stop now.

Well this weekend I went to my third wedding this year. I drove from here to Georgia and back all on Saturday. The only stop I made other than the wedding was to have lunch with Mom in Chattanooga, at Big River (yum!) and to get new shoes (for the wedding, last minute huh?).

Photo to the upper right would be from my first wedding of the year. Right to left: Tracy, Mandy, Leah, and Tina, oh and that of course is me in the middle.

I would just like to say that before this year I had been to a max of two wedding in my whole life (and one of them was my own). I have no idea what is so special about this year, but everyone seems to have picked this year to get married.

You know what I hate about all the weddings? OK really just the last one, not that it was not pretty, because it was, but I kept getting talk about my next marriage. I hate that I have to have a next time. Not that I don’t want to be married again. I do want to be married, but I hate that people talk about it like it is nothing for a marriage to fail. Don’t anyone take this to mean that I wish I was still married to Leslie, that is not at all what I mean to say. Grr…I don’t know how to say what I want to say. Marriage is serious and it is not treated as such any more I guess. I am sure some of you get what I am trying to say.

Do I have to goto work this week? My protection (MP) is going to be out this week so if I screw up again who knows what will happen. MP said I have nothing to worry about so who knows. Did I mention that I am no longer going to be working under MP in another month or so? MP will be on one set of projects with a couple of people and I will be on another with a couple of people. Who knows how that is going to work out. If anyone knows anyone who needs a VB.Net programmer with 3 years of experience (holy crap I can’t believe it has been that long, I am getting old) in Cookeville please let me know.

I got the bike out and ride for an hour today. It was fun I need to take time to ride it a lot more than I do. I have been thinking about getting some roller blades. I think it would be fun to have and do sometimes. I would never be good, I think I would be in the lucky to stay standing range, but it would still be fun to find a nice flat area and play.

Why do people not listen to what I say? I say one thing and people jump to conclusions and that is not fair. You would think that with as little as I speak people would try to listen when I do.

If you have been reading you know something has been up. At the beginning of this week I came very close to losing my job. I screwed something up. I will be honest I have screw other stuff up bigger than this, but never with the owner having to do clean up.

Tuesday same process had another problem. Once again my fault. The second one was less of a stupid mistake, but after the one from Monday I would have been gone with out intervention. So now I still have my job, but now I am all freaked out about it.

Not at all a good week. Well Wednesday was good, but pretty much the rest of the has sucked.

I was wrong. Tuesday was worse that Monday. I came with in an inch of getting fired.

Today I found out it was my fault.

I don’t know what to do.

Today has to be better than yesterday right?