inside.my.mind

You know I have head it said that doing the same thing over and over expecting to get a different result is a definition of insanity. I some how keep getting myself in the position of getting taking advantage of in one way or another. I do this over and over. I trust someone, and they use it against me. In a lot of cases over and over again. As soon as they are given the chance they are gone and don’t look back, unless something goes wrong.

I will never be the most exciting friend you have. I will never be a person that you have wonderful conversations with. New people will always come along that get your attention. Over the course of my life I have lost count of all the people who at one point or another thought of me as being their best friend. It never fails that something or someone comes along that is more interesting.

I guess this has grown to be one of my biggest fears in life. I have some really wonderful friends, but all of them have something that will always come before me and they should. I am not trying to sound like a brat and I am sure that is how this is coming across, but screw it I don’t really care. I am tired of this life. I am tired of never ending days with no hope of chance in sight. I am sure you are sitting there thinking that if I don’t like it change it. I have tried and am trying. I have done so many things to try and get my life out of this rut that I would have never seen myself doing even three years ago. I will keep trying and maybe one day something will work. I have a couple of things that I do that I manage to find happiness in, so I will keep doing them to get by until I can manage to find what ever it is that will make this all end.

Don’t freak out if you can’t leave a comment I have disabled them for this post. I know you would just be trying to help, but I don’t want any crap caused by something that maybe said, so if you have something to say email it to me, my address is on the contact page.

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