inside.my.mind

I just got back from dinner with my small group, Mexican in case what we consumed is of interest.  I remember how nervous I was the first time I attended the group, as is normal for me, but now it is different.  I am pretty comfortable about some of the people.  I still feel kind of out of place, but not as much as I would have in the past.  Even tho I am still not completely comfortable with the whole group I really look forward to Thursday nights.  I hope I can continue to get to know them all better to develop closer relationships with all the members.

It is kind of crazy how I found a church home in a place where I am in the minority.  It is really something that does not even cross my mind most of the time it is just home.  It one of my places of security that helps me forget my problems and gives me hopes about the future.  I don’t know how to express exactly what it means to me, I am just so thankful that everyone is so wonderful to me.

As I sit here and think about the last two and a half to three years, so much has change, I have changed.  I am still not where I want to be in my life, but I am much better off than I was.  It has been very trying journey, but I have some great people who have been there for me though out.  They not the people I would have said would be there for me if you had ask four years ago, most of those people ended up not being what I thought they were, one more so than all the others.

If you read this blog at all you know I still have a really hard time with some of the things in my life.  I get so very frustrated and even depressed at times, but I would not change what happen.  It sucked at the time, but I had was not right.  Looking back I can see how wrong what was going on really was, and can only imagine where it would have gone if things did not go the way they did.

I know I have been though most of this before, but sometimes I just need to write about how far I have come and some of the great things that are in my life now.