inside.my.mind

What a week I have had.  I don’t even know how to start…I don’t really guess I can.  Might just be the hardest of the year.  I am so glad tomorrow is Friday.  Work has sucked and lots of stressfullness outside of work.

All will be ok, I am no quiting or giving up.  Sometimes I feel like I make no difference.

Happy birthday to all you end of August people that I know!

First off, you all will be happy to know that my face is no longer numb.  I know huge surprise seeing that it has been over a week since it was numb.  Every time I get a cavity filled my teeth feel like they don’t fit right for at least a week.  I guess the slightest change in the surface of a tooth makes your teeth fit together differently that before.  Luckily after a week or so all feels normal again.

I got to help out with a three month old last weekend!  It was a lot of fun, and she was such a good baby.  It was a good experience and I think it is something I could do, which is good to find out seeing that I do want to have kids at some point in my life.  I am not saying I know everything about taking care of one that small, Leah and Mandy could tell you that is not the case, but I feel a little more conformable that I could do it.

Going to be out of town this weekend and I am hoping it is going to be nothing but relaxing.  I am now wishing that I did not have to work on Friday, but hopefully it will be a slower day than the rest of the week has been.  It has not really been a bad week just a lot going on, but now that I think of it there has been a lot going on for months (with life in general, not so much work).

So many things going on, trying to make them all right.

I went back to the dentist today to get my cavities filled.  My teeth are all fixed up now.  The good thing is that I have found a dentist that I like and will be going for regular check ups from now on, so hopefully I will not have three cavities at the same time anymore.

The right side of my face is still numb.  I am talking funny and it feels like I am drooling.  It is better than it was, but still feels really funny.  Guess it is worth it to not have it hurt when they have the drill in my mouth.

Brush your teeth and floss of you will end up like me.

I am still disappoint, hurt, and even pissed off.  I don’t like feeling like this, especially for this long.  It make the rest of life so much harder to live.  I find myself getting so very frustated over little things, or maybe big things that I have always made out to be nothing.  I want so scream … at the top of my lungs, but I can’t.

Why can’t I?  Why do I always have to worry about so many other things?  Why is it that when I make chocies that are right, albeit not easyest for me, things seem to not work out or someone else gets the benifit with no thought of me at all.  I know I sound like a brat…but this is how I feel.  It is like I am beating my head on a concret wall, thinking if I hit it just one more time it might break, although it is me breaking and not the wall.

Don’t you miss the times when I just did not bother to blog?  On a more plesent note, I have been able to run again.  I ran Friday night, Saturday morning, and tonight.  I am hoping that it will help get rid of some of this crap that I have built up inside.

Life is not all bad.  I just have a focus problem…maybe.  I wish I was better at writing about good things.